Motivation is optional

I’m a total planner. Every week I schedule exactly what I’m going to do and when I’m going to do it. I leave some wiggle room for last minute requests and projects, but I love knowing that if I just stick to my plan, I’ll get it all done.

But the thing is, while planning it I’m all in and usually excited about what’s on my to do list. But when the actual time rolls around to do the thing, I never want to do it. In fact, it’s usually the last thing I want to do and I can easily think of 5 other things I “should” do first.

Take this blog for example. Every week I have time scheduled on Monday evenings to write it. And EVERY Monday evening I dread doing it. But guess what, I still do it. And once I start writing, I love it and am so glad I still did it even though I did not want to.

Most of us have a believe that if we don’t want to do it or are not motivated that we are not going to do it. But believing that is a horrible recipe for reaching your goals.

What I think sets apart people who get crap done and reach their goals from those that don’t is doing the things you said you would do EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THEM.

It makes sense with things like weight loss (if you want to weigh less, eat less dessert which is not fun, but helps you lose weight), but the same is also true with other things.

Want a clean house, get rid of the crap you don’t use or need. Don’t just want all the Marie Kondo episodes. Actually DO the things, even though you don’t want to. At the end of it, you will have a manageable clean house unlike most others.

Want to start a side gig? Schedule time on the side to work on it and ACTUALLY work on it during those times even though Netflix or relaxing sound so much better.

Want to start exercising? Pick a time to do it and when the time comes, just plan on not wanting to do it AND THEN DO IT ANYWAYS.  

Don’t let a lack of motivation keep you from accomplishing your goals. Motivation is a bonus, but not required.

Want help getting started? Let’s jump on the phone for a free coaching session and get you closer to reaching your goals. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

4 ways to deal with ambiguity

Amazon purposefully has ambiguous asks of each employee. As a company, we know what the end goal is, but we are constantly trying to figure out how to get there quicker, more efficiently, and in a way that improves the customer experience.

But I’ve watched so many people struggle as they try to navigate their way through ambiguous asks, but when you break it down into these simple 4 steps, it’s nothing you can’t handle.

Your brain wants to know the exact steps and to-dos to get to the end result. You are literally wired to freak out when we don’t have all the answers because that feels dangerous and your brain is ALWAYS on the lookout for danger. But not knowing HOW to reach your goal is not actually dangerous. It just feels hard.

Following these 4 steps and help you skip the freak out part and get right to work.

1.     Be clear on the result you are trying to get: Notice I did not say, know every step and process, and detail on HOW you are going to get there. Just make sure everyone is aligned on what the goal is and how you will measure success.

Maybe your manager asked you to increase engagement with your product. Start by establishing a clearly defined goal behind that ambiguous ask.  It might be something like, decrease customer attrition in week 5 from 23% to 10% measured by app launches.

Now that you know exactly what result you are working towards, you can get to work, right….?  I’m guessing you are thinking, I know what I’m trying to do, but how do I do that?

2.     Identify the obstacles: Next you have to identify the obstacles you think you’ll run into in reaching this goal. You probably don’t know all of them today, but write down everything your brain is freaking out about. HINT: Those are the obstacles.

It could be things like: How are we tracking app launches today and how do I get that data? What happens between week 4-5 that drives the large drop in engagement? How do I get dev resources when I don’t even have a plan?  How can I directly tie back what we test to the change in engagement?  What ways can we communicate with to drive engagement? Where do I even start?

3.     Come up with a strategy for each obstacle: Now that you know what challenges you need to start tackling, come up with a plan to tackle each one. Don’t worry about it being the “right” plan, just start thinking of ways to overcome these obstacles.

Things like: Attend BI office hours next Tuesday to understand how we measure app launches today. Ask BI team and coworkers if there’s a query with this data. Walk through customer experience of the product. Look at key drivers in engagement during weeks 1-4. Meet with TPM to understand Dev sprint cycles, intake process and how things are prioritized. Meet with marketing team to understand communication channels. Meet with PM on other teams that have similar challenges.

4.     Focus on the ONE next think you need to do: To be clear, you still have NO idea how you are going to do this. This is still a very ambiguous ask. The goal might not even be possible given the available tools you have today. BUT, all you need to focus on is the ONE next thing to do. Keep taking just one step at a time. Talk to all the people. Dig through all the data. Then you can come up with a plan, write the doc and start taking action to see what does and does not work.

Above all else, try to keep a realistic perspective. Leadership has not solved this problem yet and does not know exactly what to do which is why they hired you and asked you to help. If you knew exactly what to do, you would probably be their boss. So, step in, get to work, and don’t worry about the unknowns. Figuring it all out is the rewarding part of your job.

If you want help figuring out how to move forward with your projects and feel confident while you do it, let’s jump on the phone and come up with a plan together. Sing up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Believing "I just want to be happy" is a lie Part 2

Last week I talked about how we don’t actually want to be happy all the time so telling yourself you “just want to be happy” is not helpful. 

Life is a 50/50 thing. 50% of the time we are going to be happy. 50% of the time we are going to be sad. There’s a full spectrum of emotions in between happy and sad, but 50% of the time we are going to have negative emotions and that’s actually a good thing. 

Most of us logically understand that to know what joy is, we have to have felt sorrow, but when life happens and we start feeling those negative emotions our brain freaks out and tries to tell us we should “just be happy.” 

People try to argue against the 50/50 and say they want it to be more like 80/20, but as Brene Brown says, you can argue with reality but you are going to lose every time. 

People get sick. Babies die. Accidents happy. People get fired. Bad things happen to good people. 

It seems like accepting this means we are giving up and not going to try to fight for what we feel is right, but the opposite is true. 

When you push against the reality of these things happening, you spend all of your time trying change the past which is impossible. 

When you accept them as facts now you can move forward and ask yourself, now what? What do you want to do now that your friend has cancer, or you lost your job, or your manger sucks, or that terrible accident happened?  Now what?  

By answering now what, it sets you up for moving forward in a way that actually helps you feel so much better. Now maybe you are going to help fundraise for cancer research, or start applying to jobs to find work, or tell your manager what you need to grow your career, or volunteer to help people in need.  

Moving forward and trying to help feels so much better than being angry because it should not have happened. 

Life, it’s a 50/50 game and accepting that is so much more empowering than just wanting to be happy. 

If you want help figuring out what this looks like for you, let’s jump on the phone and figure it out together. Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Believing "I just want to be happy" is a lie

Almost every one of my clients comes to me so frustrated with their life because they “just want to be happy.” They constantly worry about work. They can’t seem to unplug. They don’t feel connected in their relationships. They don’t have time to do the things they are passionate about. And the list goes on. 

I’m all for happy, but when it comes down to it, I encourage them to really look at the belief of always just wanting to be happy. When they think about this belief, how does it feel? 

Never once has anyone said that it feels good. They never say things like,” It so motivating. I get so excited about my life when I think about wanting to be happy.”  

Believing that you “just want to be happy” feels horrible. It’s depressing and makes you think about all the ways you aren’t happy. It feels hopeless and like you are stuck and a total victim to your life. 

Logically, if you went around being happy all the time you would never actually know you were happy. In order to know what happy is, you have to know what sad is. If you’ve never felt alone and anxious, you won’t know what connected and peace feel like. If you never feel negative emotions, you never realize when you are feeling positive emotions. 

Not only this, but there are things we want to feel bad about. Most people want to be sad when people get cancer and babies die. Most of us don’t want to be happy when someone loses their job or is physically abused. 

We don’t really want to be happy all the time. 

I’m not saying let people harm you or to don’t take care of yourself. But I want you to think about how your day would go if you gave up the belief of “just wanting to be happy.” 

What if you wanted to be mad that your manager is not putting you up for a promotion? 

What if you wanted to be frustrated that you work crazy hours?

What if you wanted to feel bad about not spending more time with your friends and family?

If you never felt bad you would be considered a psychopath. So good news; You’re human! These are totally normal feelings. 

Next week I’ll tell you what to do now and how to actually start  feeling better, but the first and most important step is just realizing and owning that sometimes, you do actually want to feel bad and that’s okay. 

Just feeling bad is so much better then feeling bad AND annoyed because you are feeling bad. Let’s start with removing a layer of those negative emotions and just feel bad. 

If you want help applying this to your specific situation, let’s jump on the phone and figure it out together. Sign up for a free call at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

What is life coaching?

I use to think life coaching was a bunch of vision boards, manifesting things you want, and far out there woo-woo rituals.

I’m a pretty straight up, tell it like it is, logically minded person so when my friends would tell me they hired a life coaching I would smile and silently judged them for being one of those crazy people.

I’ve never been so glad to be wrong in my life! 

Life coaching is a way to take people from living a good life to an amazing life. It’s not a substitute for a therapist who will treat acute mental disorders or diseases, but it’s tools to help you manage your emotional life.

You probably know the tools of effect communication, time management, and project planning, but do you know the tools of how to be confident, how to stop feeling overwhelmed, and what to do when most days are bad days?

Life coaching does not focus on treating the symptoms of the pain or shortcomings, but on finding the root cause of each symptom and helping people find ways to create change.

For example, have you ever been miserable in your job because of a bad manager or crappy projects?   Did you then search for a new job, feel really good about it but eventually start to feel miserable about your job again?  Life can sometimes feel like a cycle of the same problem over and over again and most people just assume that’s how it goes.   

There is an option to get out of the cycle and life coaching teaches you how to do just that. Treating the “symptom” of the bad job by finding a new job is not going to get you long term enjoyment at work. You have to find the “root cause” of what makes you miserable and work on that.

Our school systems all focus on IQ so it’s not your fault you don’t know how to manage your emotions. No one ever taught you. Life coaching focuses on EQ by teaching how to deal with all the crap life throws at you.

If you want to find out more and try it for free, let’s jump on the phone. Sign up for free life coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com