How to find your next job rotation

So you’ve decided to rotate and feel good about your reasons, but are worried about finding the right job. 

How do you know what’s the right next step?

How do you know what the new team is really like?

What if you rotate and the team reorgs and the manager and job changes?

These are questions we all ask, but they don’t actually help us find the right job. 

There are no guarantees in life. There’s no guarantee the team won’t restructure. There’s no guarantee you won’t get into the job and three months later realize what a hot mess it is. 

There is no such thing as a guarantee.

You can keep fighting against that reality or you can just acknowledge there are certain things out of your control and focus on what you can control.

I encourage people to start by getting very clear on what exactly they want out of their next role. What is it that you want to be different? What projects or skill do you want to grow around? Be very clear on what areas you are not willing to compromise on in your next move. 

Once you are clear, then start networking, searching the job board, and putting out feelers. When you are clear about what you are looking for, the coffee chat is going to be much more productive for you and the other person. 

I think the questions you ask tells the hiring manager about you and what you bring to the team more than how you answer their questions. 

As an internal employee, you know the drill. You know what questions they are going to ask and how to frame the answers. You know the interviewing process. 

Let’s say you decide your three must haves are a safe place to fail, work life balance, and having a voice at the table. When you go to the coffee chat, ask questions that will give you insight into these areas. 

Ask things like, “What are the three failures the team has this quarter and what did you learn from them?”  If they can’t answer, then maybe they are not actually learning from their failures. 

Ask things like, “When are your teams peak times and what’s the expectation during those times?”  If the answer is peak times are during launches that happen every month, that’s a different data point than if peak times are during Q4. If they can’t clearly answer the question, that would be a red flag to me. 

Ask things like, “What does your team do to make sure feedback is incorporated into team projects from employees at all levels?”

You have to be clear on what you are looking for. Then when circumstances change, you are not regretting your decision because you based it on things outside of your control-  like who your manager is or what project you work on. 

Want help figuring out what you really want in your next role, let’s jump on the phone and figure it out together. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Answer these 3 questions to know if you should rotate teams

At my company people are encourage to rotate teams. It helps share knowledge across groups and as an employee, sometimes you just need new problems. But knowing when to rotate can be tricky. 

Maybe you’ve been told you would be promoted for the last 3 quarters, but it’s not happening. Should you wait it out or rotate?

Maybe you’ve been on the team for a few years and feel like people are expecting you to move, but you don’t know what you want your next move to be.

Maybe the team re-orged and you job is completely different and not something you want to do.

But have you ever rotated teams and been equally as miserable? How do you really know when it’s time to rotate? 

Honestly answer the following questions to find out: 

1. WHY do you want to rotate?
2. Do you feel good about your WHY?
3. What are you trying to escape by rotating? 

Remember, we do everything based on how we feel. But the only reason we feel anything is because of our thinking. 

If you want to rotate to escape something like a bad manager, crappy project, or lack of respect you will find those same things on your next team because your brain rotates with you. 

If you are rotating to escape any negative emotion, I suggest working through it first. We all think changing our situation will solve the problem but remember other people and your job can’t make you feel anything. What you think about people or your job is driving your feelings and when you feel desperate and hopeless, you might end of taking the first thing that comes along or get into a situation that is no better. 

But if you want to rotate because you are ready for new challenges and want to shake things up go for it. Knowing that it’s going to be part good and part bad on your current OR new team removes all the drama and allows you to focus on working towards you goals. When you start exploring other teams because you are curious what else is out there you are going to make a more level headed decision that helps move you forward regardless of circumstances that are out of your control. 

So, if you like your reason WHY you want to rotate and it feels true to your career goals, then it’s the perfect time.

If you want help figuring out if you should rotate, let’s jump on the phone for some free coaching. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com 

Impostor Syndrome

A buzz word at work these days is Impostor Syndrome. 

Impostor Syndrome is when you feel like a fraud because people might find out you can’t actually do all the things they think you can do. I’m pretty sure EVERYONE has felt this way at one point or another. 

For example, say it’s your first week at a new job and you are getting a better feel for all the things you are now responsible for. You probably have moments where you feel underqualified , but so what?

Are you making it mean you are going to fail and get fired? Are you making it mean they might regret hiring you? 

These thoughts and feelings all stem around fear because deep down you agree with what people might be thinking. You’re worried because what if you make a mistake. What if you made the wrong choice. What if they hate you. What if you hate the job? What if you get fired. What if? Worse case scenario, you go and find a new job. Best case scenario, you figure it out, rock at your job and get promoted.  

If you new how to do every single thing in your job, you would be so board. You would not be challenged to stretch and grow and probably quit. Who wants to do a job they already know how to do ever aspect of? 

Instead of focusing on what people might discover you can’t do, focus on what you know you can do. Think about why they hired you. Why you signed up for the job. What you believe about your ability to figure it out. Most teams value the person that knows how to solve problems way more than the person who is a know it all. 

And if you really step back and think about it, everyone is a “fraud.” We are all making it up as we go. Some of us just believe our made up story easier than others. 

So next time you are worried about being an impostor, stop worrying about what other people think of you and start focusing on what YOU think about you. It feels so much better.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for a free mini coaching session at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com 

The most helpful skill no one taught you

I was expecting an important phone call on Friday. Thursday they text me and asked if I had 5 minutes to chat that day. 

Immediately my heart started to race, my palms got all clammy, and I burst into a cold sweet.  The nervousness of what would happen in those 5 minutes was taking over. What if the call did not go as I was hoping? What if it did? Ahhh..  

I wanted to know their response immediately, but did not want to let on how nervous I was. So I sat and just felt the nervousness for a few minutes before I called them up. 

Have you ever really tried feel your emotions on purpose? I rarely use to and honestly I’m still not that great at it, but today I decided to just feel it and not be in a hurry to make it go away.

The craziest thing happened. By purposefully feeling the emotion of nervousness, it literally passed in about a minutes. 

When you have a thought, the neurons in your brain connect and release a chemical. Your body feels and responds to that chemical.  Emotions are simply chemicals in your body. They are your brains way of keeping you safe and alive. 

When you are “feeling” your emotions, we call this processing your emotions. Learning how to literally feel your emotions is one of the most helpful skills we were never taught. Here’s how you do it. 

You have to get out of your head and into your body.  Describe the feeling in as much detail as you can. Pretend you are trying to explain it to an alien that has no concept of what a feel is. Where in your body to you feel it? Does it move? Is it a color? What texture is it? The better you can get a describing it, the more you are actually FEELING it. You stop feeling the emotion once the chemical has left your body and the more you literally feel it, the faster the chemical moves through you. 

The next time you have a negative feeling, try pausing for even just one minute and really feel it. I guarantee it will go away so much faster if you do. 

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com 

How to manage up

One of the many questions I get asked all the time is how to "manage up."

We all have managers, who have managers, who have managers and it seems like the higher you go, the bigger the ask and the smaller the understanding on what it takes to execute the task.

Say for example you are in a meeting where the VP says the teams needs to launch a new feature by the end of the month and you get assigned as the project owner.

You know there’s no way we can launch it on time and have it work right while still driving the day to day business projects at the same time.

Now what?

Sometimes we stress out, stop sleeping, and let anxiety take over our lives. We work crazy hours, push people to do the same, and try everything possible to prove we can do it.

Other times we panic and spend our time building a case whey we can’t and shouldn't do it.

What if we did a combination of the two, but dropped all the anxiety and panic? It’s totally possible. Here’s how.

This is the exact time where it’s important to “manage up.”

Your VP should not know all of the day to day details you know. That’s your job. But it’s also your job to clearly communicate to them. Managing up does not look desperate or whinny about the budget and resources you don’t have. Managing up means managing the situation they way you want THEM to manage the situation.

It means laying out all the facts, identifying a few possible ways forward, calling out the pros and cons to each option, making a recommendation and letting them make the final decision. Maybe the want the feature to launch and are willing to give on the day to day business projects. Maybe they don’t actually want the feature to launch as quickly once they better understand the tradeoffs.

The only way to know is to manage up. Act like the manager, clearly communicate the options, drop the drama and get to work.

Just because an idea came from someone higher up does not mean you don’t have otpions. Senior leaders value someone that can come to the table with a clear plan to be discussed without all the excuses.

So next time you are trying to manage up, start acting like the manager, drop the drama, and be the manager you want them to be.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Let’s jump on the phone for a free coaching mini session. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

How to stop dreading the yearly review process

It’s that time of year when we all give feedback about each other and declare our superpowers to our manager.

It can feel like a waste. Who came up with “superpower” anyways? It’s all squishy and emotional and can be pretty much anything you want as long as you can throw one example at it. Then there’s the 38 request for feedback waiting in your inbox. Gotta love request from those random people you sat in 3 meetings with.

I use to take days writing my 3 page review. Since there are character limits now, I take 30 seconds to think about what I’m good at, come up with the most resent example (because who can really remember work from a year ago?) and call it good.

I personally take team feedback with a grain of salt. I listen and consider the feedback, but also know that it’s none of my business what other people think about me.

But this year I don’t want to dread it and feel like it’s a waste of time. I don’t want to be annoyed that I’m not being promoted. I don’t want of feel like it’s a pointless exercise.

So what do I want to think about the yearly feedback process?

This year I’m focusing less on my superpower and more on what three areas I want to keep growing in. I want to spend time celebrating my wins from the past year (because no one else is going to) and setting very clear goals for myself based on where I want to be a year from now.

What do you want to get out of the feedback process this year?

Let’s jump on the phone and figure it out together. I’m a certified Life Coach that helps Amazon employees who constantly feel anxiety learn how to feel better today. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Answering this one question will guarantee you will reach your goals this year

Have you ever set a goal and been super excited and dedicated to it for a few weeks and then just given up because it’s hard and not fun? Good news. You’re not alone.

It’s funny how we get real serious and committed to something, but after the third or forth tough encounter with it, our commitment starts to slip and we start slowly giving up.

Say your goal is to wake up early and exercise 5x week. For most of us, it goes a little something like this:

Day 1, you are up and at em feeling good. Day 2 you are a bit tired, but still focused on your commitment. Day 3, it starts to get real. You're tired and it’s cold and you REALLY don’t want to get up, but you do it anyways. Day 4, Na. You’ve earned a break and can do it tomorrow.

Your brain is built to be as efficient as possible so changing habits, routines, and trying new things throws it into panic mode. Of course you will find a million valid excuses to keep sleeping. Of course it’s going to feel better right that minute to hit snooze. But you are the only one holding yourself back from your goals.

What would it be like to set a goal and actually stick to it, EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO? What if you stuck to it every time you dreaded it, had something better to do, or were totally justified quitting? Image how much you could do.

I say set big goals. Huge ones that seem really hard but instead of focusing on the end result, ask yourself this one question and come up with a game plan for every single answer.

Question: Why won’t I reach my goal?

Here’s what my 2019 goal looks like.

Goal: Build a 200k coaching business by December 31, 2019.
Why it won’t work (all of my excuses) and my plan to overcome them:
I don’t have enough time.

• Get very specific with everything that needs to be done, calendar it out, and do what is on my calendar NO MATTER WHAT.

I can’t do well in my day job and my side gig at the same time. Something will have to give.

• Be willing to move forward with B- work. Don’t waste time making things “perfect”. Stay focused on my goals and don’t get distracted by other ideas of things I can do. If it’s not work directly related to my work or business goals, the answer is no.

I don’t know how to do it.

• All I have to know is the one next step. Keep taking action, learning, and moving forward. You’re not supposed to know. Keep trying until I DO know.

How am I going to get enough people to buy my program?

• Keep making offers. Keep using these tools on myself and getting personal results. Give people free results ahead of time. Stay focused on WHY I want to build this business and not the money.

What if they don’t like my program?

• Ask for feedback and be willing to change. Be willing to let people be wrong about me and my program. Don't make it mean anything about me if someone does not like the program.

Working nights is hard when I’ve been working all day.

• So what. Reaching my goal will feel that much better when I’m willing to work that much harder for it. If I love doing it and it’s helping people, is it really “hard?” Find a belief that serves me better than “it’s hard.”

Want help defining your 2019 goals and creating a clear plan to get there? Sign up for some free coaching and let’s rock 2019 together.

What to do when your colleague is driving you insane

We’ve all had times when we have to work with that ONE person. You know. The one who takes credit for everyone’s work and is always schmoozing with upper management, but is the worst team player.

They can be so hard to work with because you want to keep a close eye on them so you don’t get thrown under the bus, but you loath interacting with them. Sometimes even just seeing them makes you roll your eyes and do everything you can to avoid them. And I’m sure you are not the only on on the team that feels this way.

It sucks because THAT person can easily ruin a good day.

I’ve been in this situation a few times over the years. It’s sadly even how I bonded with some of my team members. Nothing like a shared hatred of someone to bring the group together.

A couple years ago I was working with someone that bother me so much it was starting to effect my performance. I was so obsessed with how much I hated them that I was not getting things done or doing them very well. That’s when I realized something had to change. It was either them or me.

I knew logically that I can’t control anyone but myself so that left we with the option to rotate teams or put on my adult pants and stop having temper tantrums about reality.

I was NOT in a place where I could “see the good” in them, but I could just look at reality and drop the drama. So that’s what I did.

They would come into work and instead of thinking about all the things they do that bothers me, I just though, so and so is at work.

Instead of stewing about the meeting I was going to be in with them I just acknowledge that the reality was they were going to be there, but I could still be me.

Slowly, but surely it got better. Don’t get me wrong. They did not change a dang thing. But I changed what I was focused on. Waisting all of my emotion energy on them was getting me nowhere, but taking back control of my emotion energy and purposefully choose to focus on other things was so much better.

I never did get to a place where I enjoyed working with them, but I was able to be totally neutral about them. They were not good or bad. They were just a person on the team.

I rotated teams, but now when our paths cross I don’t even think twice about it. It feels so great to be in control of my emotions when they are around.

So if there is someone you are having a hard time working with, for one day try to stop arguing with reality and just keep telling yourself, “They are just a person on the team” and see how it goes.

If you want help applying this to your specific situation, let’s jump on the phone and hook you up with some free coaching. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com. I only offer a few free coaching spots a week so grab one before they fill up.

What does it mean when your 1:1 gets canceled

Last week a coworker reached out because they were so frustrated with their manager canceling their 1:1’s. Our conversation when a little something like this:

Me: Why is this a problem?
CW: I want to talk about my career and get feedback.
Me: Why do you think they canceled it?
CW: Because he’s busy and know that I’m great at my job.
Me: So, tell me again why it’s a problem?
CW: Because I want to talk to talk about my career and get feedback.
Me: You want to hear him say the words you already know are true? Why? If you believe they think you are doing great, why do you need them to say it?

We continued talking about what this meant and she realized she wanted a 100% guarantee on feedback and a plan to a promotion even though logically she gets there’s no such thing.

How often do you worry and stress about things because you don’t feel 100% certain about them?

What if you just decided to be 100% certain for yourself?

What if you decided you didn’t need to be 100% certain?

What if you decided your manager canceling your 1:1 means you are amazing and to keep doing what you are doing?

You get to decide whatever you want to believe so choose your beliefs on purpose.

The choice is yours so stop believing the illogical freak out in your head and start believing the reality that you are amazing.

Want help apply this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

How to deal with negative feedback

Today we reviewed round two of my 6 page document outlining our marketing strategy and traffic plan to my skip level. They started out with a preface they think "we are all smart and capable people." I knew what was about to come was going to be rough.

I also knew that no matter what the feedback was, I had done my best and was proud of the document.

I sat there for an hour and did not say a word. I listened to all the feedback, took notes on follow up items, and felt all of my emotions.

I was pissed others were not chiming in when they gave feedback that contracted feedback I’d been given from my manager. I was hurt that all of my hard-work was still not enough. I was so annoyed that I was going to have to work on my vacation. I was frustrated at what was being asked because no one knows the answers.

But I just felt it all. I gave myself permission right after the “preface" to just feel whatever came. I was not going to try and justify my way through it and tell myself why the feedback was wrong. I just felt it.

In the end, I was no longer pissed or angry. I was still annoyed about working my vacation, but I came to terms with reality. I separated out the facts from all the drama. There needs to be another version of the doc. There are questions to be answered. But so what? It does not have to mean anything. I get to choose how I want to feel about it and right now I’m just going with neutral. It’s not good or bad. It just is.

So next time you get some hard feedback, just feel it. Feel the anger and hurt and pain. It so much better than resisting it.

Want help learning how to apply this to your situation, sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Why failure is your second best option

Growing up most of us were taught that failure is bad and we should do everything we can not to avoid it. Did you ever play on a sports team where everyone got a trophy even though one team clearly lost, but everyone was told they won?

I think people's intentions were good, but they were not doing us any favors.

Whenever you are trying to reach a goal, success is the best outcome, but failure is the second best. Yes, FAILURE IS THE SECOND BEST OPTION.

If you really stop and think about it, your best outcomes in reaching your goals are:
 

1. Success
2. Failure
3. Not trying
4. Procrastinating

Success is what we are aiming for. Failure is just a feeling that won’t actually hurt you. Not trying is simply failing ahead of time and removing the option of success. Procrastination is failing ahead of time, but also stressing about it because you want to do it, but just aren’t.

So tell me, what would you be willing to do if you weren’t afraid to fail?

If you want help being willing to fail and reach you goals, sign up for a free mini session. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

How to stop feeling overwhelmed without changing your to-do list

How many times a day to you think about how overwhelmed you are because there’s too much to do and not enough time?

There’s weekly business review meetings to prep and dig deeper into, 1:1’s to set agenda’s for, those 15 people you need to follow up with, that big project that’s coming due soon, all of the other daily tasks that have to get done, and 4 meetings happening today that will probably include additional things you need to follow up on after. All this before you even open your email in the morning.

And let’s not forget you are a person as well. You probably need to grocery shop, do some laundry, go through that pile of mail that’s growing by the day, return a few items, schedule a dentist appointment, grab a birthday card for your friend, and try to find time to call your mom.

Cue all that overwhelm and stressing out because there’s so much to do.

Most of the time, we just accept that we have too much to do as fact and try to find ways to be more efficient.

Maybe you start buying meal delivery kits and hire out the house cleaning. Or you try to come into work 30 minutes early to get a head start on the day before everyone else gets into the office.

But no matter what you try, it still feels so overwhelming and never ending.

Guess why?

The only reason we feel overwhelmed is because of our thinking. Having “too much to do” is not a fact. It’s a thought. If you were not thinking you had too much to do, you would be feeling something else.

What is “too much?” Who decides it’s “too much?” How do we know when it’s “just right?”
Instead of focusing on how to be more efficient, try focusing on better thoughts that don’t make you feel overwhelmed.

Things like, I know what’s on my agenda today or I don’t HAVE to do any of this, but I’m choosing to.

If that doesn’t feel believable to you, try digging deeper and asking yourself why?

What would you have to give up to stop feeling overwhelmed because of the thought “there’s too much to do.”

Maybe it means giving up being a perfectionist and not spending an extra 4 hours on that document because you’re not actually improving the communication. You’re just moving commas around.

Maybe it means giving up control over what people might think of you and asking for more time on a project and prioritize what’s already on your to-do list.

Maybe it means giving up being a people pleaser and telling your boss you don’t have the bandwidth to own that additional project.

Maybe in means give up self-doubt and asking how spending time finding answers to the questions asked in the business review meeting are going to drive the business forward.

The only reason you are feeling overwhelmed is because of the THOUGHT “there’s too much to do.” All you have to do is find a new thought you already believe and practice thinking that instead.

If you want help applying this to your specific situation, let’s jump on the phone for a free mini session and get you out overwhelm. Sign up HERE.

When you can’t stop the ticker tape of non-stop thoughts

Do you ever have those days (read as years) where you can't stop the ticker tape of non-stop thoughts.

Things like:
- Why can't I get up earlier?
- This is never going to work.
- If I knew how to do what you are asking, I would be your boss.
- There's not enough time.

When I really started digging, I realized it was all because I was really good at feeling self-doubt and worry over what other people were going to think.

I always thought I was confident, but when I was pushed outside of my comfort zone, my anxiety took over and it freaked me out because I did not know what to do.

I read all the books, watched all the Ted Talks, and watched every documentary I could. It was not until I found actual tools that I could literally apply TODAY that I started to feel more confident.
 
Now, I just use these tools all the time and am back in the land of confidence and plan on staying there forever.

I've put together 3 tools that have made the biggest difference for me because sharing is caring. You're welcome.

Check them out here!

How not knowing can be your most helpful asset

Whenever you start a new job, team, or major project, there’s always a learning curve involved.

It usually starts with a few weeks of blind bliss and low expectations over all the new things you don’t know. You go around soaking it all in and getting a pass on adding any real value. After all, you’re just the new kid. Monthly Business Review doc due next week? You get a pass this month and can own it next time. Need to escalate that the team is going to miss key deliverables? You get a pass on the worry and stress because you are just the messenger. Need to respond to a question mark email from the CEO, you get a pass since you don’t know the background. These are the days you sleep well and start to get a feel for work life balance.

Then you hit the middle stage. This is where the acute anxiety kicks in because you now know what you don’t know. You’re freaking out the team is going to find out how under qualified you are and how much you need to learn. Deliverables are being thrown your way at a quicker pace and your new kid pass has expired. When your manager asked you for a status update, you know how many holes are in your report. Or maybe you are asked to write the business strategy doc for a key team project and you have no idea how to approach it. Or it’s now time for the quarterly business review and you don’t even know who to work with on it. This is usually when you start working crazy hours and drinking coffee like it’s water.

Then miraculously you get over the hump and start feeling a bit more confident. When people ask you questions, you start to know the answer. When your manager throws a last-minute request your way, you know how to handle it. When the team makes a mistake, you are able to write the Cause of Error report. You still work ridiculous hours, but have stopped second guessing your decision to work on the team.

Today I was coaching someone that is feeling stuck right in the middle. They are very aware of what they don’t know and finally realized getting help was going to get them so much further than pretending they knew what to do. They nervously reach out for a free coaching session and laid it all out there.

Talking through it, they could logically see why they were feeling stressed and anxious (spoiler: it was all because of their thinking and drama around their project), but could not get to a happy place about it.

That’s when I offered them a different solution.

So often we just want to feel good, but it’s hard to go from anxiety and stress to excitement and confidence. Instead try to get neutral. By better understanding what thoughts were stressing them out, we were able to look at the facts and realize, they are not good or bad. They are just facts. Being neutral about their project not only felt better, but now they are actually doing the work necessary to get out of the middle stage. Instead of seeing what they don’t know as a disadvantage, they see knowing what they don’t know as the answer on where to start. Don’t know how to write a PR/FAQ? Start reading wikis and asking coworkers for example docs. Don’t know how to provide the right level of detail in the weekly business review? Ask you manager for feedback.

Taking massive action is what will get them out of the middle stage and adding value to their team and their career goals. Removing the drama and just getting neutral is the first step to feeling confident.

If you want help applying this to your situation, sign up for a free mini session today.

If you could believe anything, what would you want to believe

A belief is a thought you’ve had multiple times over an extended period of time. The more time you think a thought, the stronger the belief. The strong the belief, the easier it is to think so we are not always fully aware of them.

It’s kind of like trying to find Target in a new city. The first time you have to Google Map it and get turn by turn directions. The second time you probably just look at the map for a quick refresher and consciously make your way there. After the 3rd or 4th time, you can drive there without really thinking about it.

Thoughts are the same way. The more times you think them, the easier they come to mind and the less conscious you are of the thought. It’s second nature so you don’t even have to think about it.
I’m not just talking about spiritual beliefs. I’m talking about any belief you have about yourself, your life, your job, or any aspect of your life.

You might believe things like:

• Time is money
• I always find a way to get it done
• There are limited opportunities
• It’s never good enough
• You have to be an extrovert to be successful at my company 
• I’m not very good at being in a relationship
• Life is not fair

So, what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about your life? What lessons did your parents teach you? What do you believe about the future?

Better yet, what do you WANT to believe?

One of my clients recently realized she believes she’s a slow learner. When we started digging into that belief, she realized there really is no such thing as “fast" or “slow” learning. Really, she’s just always learning and this new belief was so freeing. Now instead of feeling bad and embarrassed about her learning abilities, she’s more curious and wants to learn even more.

It seems like such a small shift, but thinking “I’m a slow learner” feels so much worse than “I’m always learning new things.”

The first step is awareness. Write down 30 things you believe about any aspect of yourself or your life. Then really evaluate which ones are helping you and which ones are holding you back.

If you want help doing this and finding beliefs that serve you better, sign up for a free mini session. On this call I can help you with your specific situation and there’s no obligation.

So, what do you believe?

How to always get the best manager

In my 7 years with my current employer, my manager has changed more than 7 times. With constant re-orgs and rotating teams, it's one of those things that is out of my control.

Since your manager impacts so much of your day to day life at work, I used to freakout if I was put under a "bad manager."

Then one day I realized that I'm actually the best manager for myself.

I'm the one who really knows what I am great at and what I'm not. I know what's really going on with me. I know what I need to grow and to learn. I'm the one that will do the work to get myself promoted.

It's all me.

It was empowering to realize this. Who my manager was did not really matter because it was just a circumstance. It was just reality. I could fight against it and make myself miserable, or I could manage myself. I could manage my expectations, work, and priorities. Who my actual manager was became irrelevant.

Learning the skill of managing your own mind is the MOST important skill you can ever learn and will make or break your career. It will push you to try new things and make you unstoppable at reaching your goals.

If you want help learning how to manager your brain to slow down the ticker tape of stressful thoughts, sign up here for free coaching. You have nothing to lose, but so much to gain.

Research is a waste of time

Have you ever thought about making a big change in your life, or buying an expensive item, or taking some kind of big risk? Usually the first thing we do is research, but it can be such a waste of time.

Say for example you are looking to buy a new car. You might go online and look up reviews and features, ask a few friends and then test drive a few cars. But now what? Do you decide and move on, or keep researching?

Or maybe you are thinking about making a job change. You might check out the job board, have a few coffee chats, talk with former colleges who left the company and think about what you want in your next job. But how long do you spend researching things and waiting for the perfect job?

Most of us spend so much time researching because it feels better then taking action.

What if we make the wrong choice? What if we do not have all the information?

What if you just keep researching and never decide?

There are no such things as wrong choices because it is the decision that was made. When you argue with reality you lose every time.

You will probably NEVER have ALL the information because things constantly change.

I think they best way to move forward is to give yourself a set about of time to research and then make a decision and decide ahead of time that you are going to love your decision. Now you've changed your life or bought the new expensive thing or took the risk and you love it. You are moving forward with your life and getting more information as you continue to make more decisions.

What area in your life are you passively researching and wasting time. Commit to making a decision by the end of the week and commit to loving your decisions.

If you want help applying this to you specific decision, let’s jump on the phone for a free mini coaching session and help you start taking action in your life. Sign up at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

The dreaded, "Quick Touch Base" meeting invite

Last week I got a meeting invite from my manager with the subject “quick touch base” and no additional information.

My monkey brain immediately went into panic mode and was convinced I was getting fired.

I tried going through all of my meetings notes and reviewing my todo’s but I could not figure out why I would be in trouble so my heart rate started to slow down and my brain eventually became more logical.

The meeting was only for 15 minutes. If I was in trouble, it would be longer. A 15 minute meeting almost always means one thing - Reorg.

They happen all the time at work. In my 7 years, I think this is probably my 10th or 11th reorg. I honestly can’t remember.

My colleges all got a similar invite and like any normal team, we started to speculate over IM what the changes were going to be.

Our “touch bases” came and went and we all knew what was going down.

It was fascinating to watch the difference reactions. Some people freaked out because they no longer felt like their work was valuable to the team. Others were pissed we were changing directions again and immediately started searching the job board. I just kind of sat back and took it all in. Again, I’ve been through this a few times.

I decided to just look at the facts and decide how I wanted to feel about it. I have to be honest with myself at all times so I was not in a place of joy and excitement, but I could get myself to just be curious and open to the change so that’s where I focused my thoughts.

Instead of stressing about all the unknown to current and future projects, my involvement, and reporting structure, I decided to focus on how I could add value with the shift. How I was going to learn so much with this new strategic pivot and that it was going to give me so many opportunities to partner with other teams, which I love doing and am great at.

So here we are in week one of the reorg, and guess what. The people thinking they are no longer valuable are not adding much value. The pissed people are still mad and pushing against reality.
But I’m just overhear doing my job. And when it really comes down to it, not much has changed. I still have most of the same projects and a few new ones, but it’s just another day. I’m still in control of how I feel at work and I’m still choosing to be open and curious and I’m loving where it’s taking me.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

What's your story

We all have a few stories we tell. There’s the story we tell other people about our life and the one we tell ourself.

The one we tell others usually highlights the good things and masks the bad.

Mine use to sound something like this.

I work full time during the day, am a mom to 3 wonderful girls, am a life coach on the side, and love spending time with my family.

But the story I use to tell myself sounded like this.

I’ve been with my employer for over 7 years and don’t know how I’ve lasted this long. It’s sucking the life out of me and I’m so over it. My kids drive me crazy. Having twins is so hard and I hate when they act their age. I don’t think bedtime is going to get any easier for a long time. I feel bad that I don’t spend much time with my family because of my coaching stuff, but I just love it and if I’m not working on myself how can I help my family. There’s not enough time to get everything I want done, but I’m so sick of feeling behind on everything in life. Why can’t I just figure it out and make it work? What is wrong with me?

Am I alone here? I did not think so.

What you tell yourself about your life is what your brain will find evince of and let me tell you. I use to have a buttload of evidence to backup my story. However, it was not helping me reach my goals or allowing myself to grow in a healthy way, but just kept me stuck and feeling like I was on a crazy cycle that would not end.

So one day I decided to re-write my story. I told myself I had to present it as good new, but I also had to be honest. Here’s how it went.

I’ve made a ton of money at my job and am so lucky to be mortgage free at my age. It’s so freeing. My job has taught me so many things about running a successful business and I love a lot of the overall theories and concepts I’ve learned. My kids are hilarious. Every night at bedtime they like to show me their “ice cream dance” and shake their tinny little bums until they fall down. It drives me crazy, but I also can’t help but laugh every time. I’m getting a lot of great practice coaching people and it makes me so excited. These tools are amazing and I want everyone to have them. I love that I have so many big goals and dreams and I love that I’m willing to work hard to reach them. I can’t wait to see how it all turns out. I’m proud of how much I’ve grown and that I’m still a human being that makes mistakes but keeps on getting back up.

What’s your story? Try writing down your current story and the re-write it in a positive way that you already believe. Then read the positive one over and over until it becomes your default story so your brain can find buttloads of evidence for it. It’s the coolest thing ever to literally see the change in yourself.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Take a minute

Today started off with a bang. I was calmly reading through emails when they started rolling in. 1, then 2, then 3, and finally a 4th high priority email in a row. I was excited to see where this was going to lead.

Pretty much, there were some major changes we needed to make and it needed to happen quickly. I pinged my coworker and together we shared a virtual moan at the rework that was about to instill.

She told me she was just going to tell them no. They can’t make the changes for at least a week. She was all sorts of frustrated, and rightfully so.

While I agreed with her in principle, I’ve also been around long enough to know that at the end of the day, we will do whatever they say so just saying no was not going to get us anywhere productive.

I called her on the phone and asked her why. Why a week? Why not now?

She gave very valid reasons why we should wait. I told her a better approach might be to communicate what is at stake if we make the change now. To just focus on giving leadership all of the facts and let them make the decision since they are the ones that have to answer to it either way. We laughed about the change happening (again) and jump on the phone with leadership.

She calmly stated what was at risk by making the change now, but sincerely was onboard with whatever they decided. And guess what, they went with her recommendation.

The fact was leadership said we needed to make changes. It was not good or bad. Just a fact. She had all kinds of thoughts about it that felt justified, but when she stoped and took a minute to decide how she wanted to approach this, she decided to drop the drama and move forward.

Taking a minute to step back, and purposefully decide what you want to think about any situation is crucial. Who you are at work all comes form your feelings and only you can make yourself feel anything based on what you’re thinking.

So take back control of those thoughts that want to run wild and show you brain who’s the boss.

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There's not enough time

How many times a day do you think you tell yourself there’s not enough time? I tried counting today and lost count because who has time for that.

Here’s usually how my day goes.

Alarm goes off and I'm totally confused because there is no way it’s really time to get up. Snooze a few times and wake up 40 minutes late in panic and probably not shower. Who needs it when we live in a world with dry shampoo.

Wake up the kids, get everyone out the door and start thinking about work. This is where the panic starts to creep in and I start mapping out how there’s not enough time to get it all done.

Drop kids off and start thinking about what’s on my personal to do list and remind myself there’s not enough time.

Start working and spend a good 30 minutes thinking about how much there is to do and planning it all out so it’s just right.

Go to a meeting and get assigned more things to do and try to politely tell them….it’s gonna have to wait. There’s not enough time.

Back to work and get everything set up to really get serious about the project due tomorrow.

Dial into another meeting and try to multiple task, but really just stress about how I don’t have time to be on this call and waste more time.

Back to work, but hey…I’m hungry. A girl has got to eat.

Grab food and eat at my desk, but work on a personal to-do item because I deserve a lunch break.

Spend a few solid ours in the afternoon really focused getting some of my work done, while stressing about all the other things I’m not going to get to. Tell myself I’ll finish those two other projects tonight after the kids go to bed and call it a day.

Rush out the door to grab the kids, rush them into the car and home, rush through dinner, rush them into bed, yell at them for getting out of bed, and then tell myself I need to sleep to really be productive tomorrow at work so I’ll just go to bed and get up early and do the work in the morning.

Then…rinse and repeat.

You guys. There’s not enough time is the worst thought ever. It’s so not helpful and making me feel like time is really slipping away, but who do I think I am. I’ve got 24 hours in a day just like everyone else in the world.

What if you just decided that there’s exactly the right amount of time? What if you stopped rushing everywhere and had time to relax and enjoy the day? What if you just decided to say no and yes and then no again and stoped trying to multi task and got things done? What if you had too much time? How amazing would that be.

How you spend your time is totally up to you so I say start taking back control over it. Choose to work for your employer and you chose to spend time with friend and family. Chose to take ownership of projects that are asked of you and you chose to say no or delegate other things. You are able to control your time simply by your thoughts about it.

So what are you going to chose to think? Tomorrow I dare you to start thinking I own my time, and just watch how much better you day is.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

4 ways to survive the Holiday season in eCommerce

This is my 8th Holiday season at my company and once again people are starting to feel the heat.

Like always, we have big goals and want to provide the best customer experience possible. I've seen this cause so many people extra stress and anxiety. I've been there, but let's not go back to the year I was Holiday captain and wanted to physically harm our in-stock manager, but instead ate an entire jumbo bag of gummy bears.

Here are 4 ways to dominate and enjoy the Holiday season.

1. Go for B- work- I know what your thinking and yes, a leadership principle is to insistent on the highest standards, but hear me out. When it comes to the customer, the highest standard is always important, but we waste so much time on the last 20% of work on so many non-customer facing projects.

Think about the last doc you wrote. Did the last 20% of revisions actually improve the strategy and communcation or was it semantics and details to make sure it was perfect? Image what you could have been using that time doing if you just went with a B- doc. Let's be honest, no matter how great the doc is, your audience is always going to have feedback. Review the B- doc, get the feedback, then go deliver results.

2. Have a schedule and stick to it NO MATTER WHAT- I'm guessing you already know all the things that need to be done from daily stand-ups, flex flash reports, walking the store, to a post mortem. Map out each project, detail all of the steps necessary to accomplish the project, aim for B- work, then literally schedule every detailed step on your calendar. Limit how much time you are going to take to do each step and get it done during the allotted time. This means you have to be heads down and 100% focused because it HAS to be done in the time alloted. The biggest part of this step is to do exactly what is on your calendar even when you don't feel like it and don't let others schedule over your work time. This means you might need to schedule in "fire drill" time each day, but honor your calendar no matter what.

3. Remember we don't save lives- Seriously, we ship crap to people. I've seen so many people lose there cool over the dumbest thing. Yes we want to do our best and yes we want to create an amazing customer experience, but shift happens. It's important to keep a healthy perspective and remember the worst thing that could happen is a negative feeling and possibly a COE or meeting explaining what happened. Don't get caught up in the drama of it all. Things will go wrong and that's actually part of the fun. It if all went smoothly it would be so boring and you would wish you went bigger.

4. Bring the fun- Work is not fun but YOU ARE. Make a point to be the person that helps the team have fun along the way. Make bets on sales/traffic for Cyber Monday, buy a gong and create a rule requiring a 15 second dance party whenever someone rings it, include slightly inappropriate memes in status update emails. BE THE FUN. I know I will be.

And if nothing else, just remember your stock vesting is right around the corner. You got this!

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Willpower doesn't work

Have you ever tried to use willpower to make yourself do something? It never works long term. Sure it might help for a bit, but it never lasts.

Trying to lose weight, just willpower yourself past those delicious, freshly baked maple bars today…and next week have two. After all, you lost a pound.

Have the most time wasting, life sucking project to complete at work? Just willpower yourself through…and then dread every follow up item that spins out of that project.

Dread going to the dentist because who can stand those sounds and let’s not even talk about the picking and scraping. Willpower through it….and continue to put off your next appointment in 6 months requiring even more dental work.

So often we rely on willpower to make it through the drudge of life, but did you know you don’t have to? True story.

Your mind’s job is to protect you from danger, but it does not understand the different between physical and emotional danger so whenever it feels a negative feeling, it tries to get you to run the other way. This is why we try to willpower our way through things we don’t want to do, but it never works long term. It can totally help you short term, but after that it’s no good to you.

Instead or relying on willpower, I say just be willing to feel the negative emotion. When you actually feel your emotions, it’s not as bad as your mind thinks it’s going to be.

I promise you if you are willing to feel miserable for a few weeks until your body stops craving sugar, you can move past the misery and easily pass on the maple bars.

Feel the dread of your crappy work projects and once the dread passes, get to work and feel proud that you did the hard thing and know the worst thing that can happen is feeling dread again, but now you know what it feels like and that you will survive so bring on the dread.

Feel anxious about the nice lady that scrapes all the maple bars out of your team and know that next time you can get happy gas so maybe you want to go back sooner. JK. They put a limit on how much happy gas you can get…so I’ve heard.

But you get my point. Willpower will only work for so long. At a certain point, you have to put on your adult pants and deal with what’s really going. And after you have felt misery and dread and anxiety enough times, you can get over your thought causing it and start viewing things in a new way that feels great and helps you create the life you want.

So next time you feel like you are running out of willpower, know that you are and it’s time to start feeling those negative feelings. You’re welcome.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose

Guys. I love the TV show Friday Night Lights. Like watch the entire series every year kind of love. The character are hilarious and who does not love Tim Riggins.

I know I’m not alone in this and now every time I drive past a High School football stadium and think about Riggins living on his land in TX someplace, enjoying a beer with Skeeter.

Before and after every game, Coach Taylor would give some kind of a pep talk and always ended it with the phrase, “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” Cheese as it sounds, I LOVE this mantra. It really is true when you stop and think about it.

These last few weeks at work have been a doozy. It’s Holiday prep time and the quarterly review cycle and everyone seems to be on edge. Nothing is good enough, they always want more, and the cards seem to be stacked against me.

Today, I decided to practice thinking this mantra and guess what, it totally helped. I stayed clear on what results I needed to deliver, tried to find ways to feel compassion for myself along the way, and had an overall productive day. So often I just get caught up in the overwhelm of the never ending to do list that I don’t get series about getting things done.

So next time you are feeling stuck in overwhelm and self pity, try finding a way to stay focused on what really matters, come at it from love, and watch what you are able to accomplish.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Are your failures helping or hurting you

Have you ever stoped and really thought about what your life would be like if you were willing to fail? Seriously, image how many more things you would try if failure was no big deal.

I think there are two ways we can choose to look at failure.

Your default brain wants to see it as evidence around why you suck and should never try scary things again. This way of thinking about failure just adds to the stress and anxiety you are already feeling.
Your higher brain, however, has the ability to think of failure as an additional datapoint and one step closer to where you are trying to go.

Say you really want to get promoted. Image how fast it would happen if you did not care about failing and went out and tried to learn 10 new skills to add even more value to the team. Then image the other side where you worry about failing and stick to what you know and trying to get better at what you are already good at. Which way gets you promoted faster?

Or maybe you want to rotate teams but are worried about finding the perfect situation. You could worry about making the wrong choice and just keep doing coffee chats and informal interviews and take 8 months to rotate. Or you could do a few coffee chats over the next month, find a team that seems like a good option and make the move. If it does not work out, now you know what to look going forward and can rotate again. The failure taught you more about what to look for when changing jobs in less time than the 8 months of making extra sure things were just right. Because we all know, nothing stays the same so there’s no such thing as just right.

I know exactly what failure feels like. I’m getting pretty good at it. I know that I feel it deep in my chest and it’s super tight. It rushes all around and feels like it wants to burst out. My chest gets all splotchy and my shoulders feel like a million pounds. But guess what, that the worst of it. And since I’m willing to feel that, I’m making things happen. Are you?

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Pay attention to where you are going

I have twin 3 year olds that are…well 3. I love them and they drive me crazy. Whenever they walk anywhere, I’m always telling them to pay attention to where they are going. They love to look all around, behind them, and usually lock eyes with something to the side and just keep walking. I can’t tell you how many things they have run into. Doors, people, walls, down the stairs stairs, each other, you name it. They get so distracted by everything around them and just keep walking without worrying about where they are going.

This made me realize that so many of us are doing the same thing with our brains. We want to move forward with a problem but are looking behind us for evidence or over to the side at the shinny distraction. What's usually behind us is proof why we have the problem and the shinny objects just satisfy our instant gratification monkey by avoiding the problem.

Whatever the problem is, you have to manage your brain. The ONLY reason you have ANY problem is because of your thinking.

Don’t look behind you and tell yourself I don’t know. Look forward and ask how could I know.

Stop focusing on the past for why you can’t reach you goal and start looking to the future on what your life is like once you’ve reached your goal.

Quit wasting time doing the things you don’t care about and start doing the things you really want even when you don’t feel like it.

Pay attention to where you are going. You’ve got amazing places to be.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

There are dumb questions

Growing up my teachers often said there is no such thing as a dumb question to encourage questions, but they lied. There are dumb questions and we all ask them everyday.

Your brain loves a questions and is always looking for evidence and an answer to whatever question you ask, but have you ever stoped and really looked at the questions you ask yourself in a day?

I dare you to write down every questions you ask yourself.

• Why can’t I get up earlier?
• Why can’t I lose weight and keep it off?
• Why do I have to be the one to do it?
• Why can’t if figure this out?
• What was the point of that meeting?
• Why am I the only one that cares?

When you ask yourself a disempowering question, you get disempowering answers that does nothing to help you so it’s a pretty dumb question.

 

• Why can’t I get up earlier? Because I went to bed to late and am not a morning person
• Why can’t I lose weight and keep it off? Because it’s hard and donuts are delicious
• Why do I have to be the one to do it? Because no one else is capable.

You get the point. None of these answers are actually helping you get the results or answers you are looking for. What you need to do is ask yourself more empowering questions.

• How do I want to start my day?
• Why do I really want to lose weight?
• How can I empower others to be self-service? 
• What’s one thing I could try?
• How can i make this fun?
• How else could I get this done?

So stop asking dumb questions and start getting the answers you are really looking for.

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How do you feel about yourself

If you had to write down 25 things about yourself that you like could you do it? Sounds easy, but I dare you to try. It can be anything from, I like my hair to I’m a great listener.

Seriously, try writing down 25 things. Most of us have a hard time doing this and really have to start digging. I think the real good stuff happens when we get deep.

What would you want to be on your list? Could you write a list of 100 things? Why?

I think it’s so important to take the time to evaluate how you feel about yourself. It seems like if you love yourself and think you are amazing, you will become complacent and not grow and progress as a human, but actually the opposite is true.

Everything we do depends on how we are feeling so if you feel love and compassion and curiosity about yourself, you are going to take care of yourself and honor your commitments to yourself and do the hard things even when we don’t want to. When you are feeling shame or disgust or frustration with yourself, you are going to take the easy road out and not try new things or grow.

So the key to getting what you want out of life, is having a healthy relationship with yourself and knowing that you have your own back.

If you had a hard time writing down 25 things, finish the list with things you want to belive about yourself and practice believe them. Image all the things you could do if you did believe them and start doing those things today.

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It's none of your business what other people think about you

It’s so easy to see the flaws in others and some people are really vocal about pointing them out. My mama always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.” Ok, so maybe when I say “my mama” I mean me, but whatever.

My child is stubborn. My employee is lazy. My manager does not care about my growth. My wife is high-strung. My neighbor is so rude. My coworker is a jerk. My husband does not care.

We talk about it like it’s a well known fact, but it’s our interpretation of people and when we plug it into a model we see what’s really happening when we think about these things.

Remember the CTFAR model shows us what we are creating and also teaches how to create whatever we want. Circumstances are neutral facts. We have Thoughts about those facts that create our Feelings which drive our Actions that create our Results.

C - I have a child
T - They are stubborn
F - Furious
A - Yell, ignore them, threaten them
R - I’m stubborn (I mirror their actions and try to one up them)

C - I have an employee
T - They are so lazy
F - Frustrated
A - Try to avoid them, don’t give them key projects, dread meetings with them
R - I’m a lazy manager (I’m not having the hard conversation and communicating clear job expectations)

C - I have a manager
T - They don’t care about my growth
F - Powerless
A - I don’t give it my all. I don’t look for ways to improve my work. I do the minimum required.
R - I don’t care about my growth (I’m leaving my growth up to my manager)

You get the point. Whatever you put in the Thought line about someone else is always what you prove true about yourself.

This is why, it really is none of your business what other people think about you. Because what they think about you is actually what they think about themselves. This goes for the good and the bad. I’m not saying you should not give compliments or accept them, but know they think you are amazing because they are amazing.

What IS your business is how you feel about yourself. You are 100% amazing because you are a human. It has nothing to do with your weight, or job, or what you have done. You are of infinite value because all humans are, even the jerks you work with. Like I said, it’s none of your business what other people think about you.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

Better than a promotion

People at work are constantly obsessed with getting a promotion. They create career development plans to review with their managers and take on specific tasks to get exposure to people outside of their direct teams.

I personally have been promoted at my company and have promoted multiple employees. I get it. People want to get promoted.

Except why do we really want to get promoted?

Sure the additional money is nice and there might be a title change, but we wants to get promoted to feel good and rewarded for our hard work.

Guess what. You can feel good even without a promotion.

Pretend you got promoted right this second. Tomorrow when you go into work the phone tool will have a new title and level and your bank account will have additional numbers in it.

But you will still sit at the same desk. You will still work on the same project. You will still work with the same people. You will still have the same manager.

Nothing changed except the phone tool and your bank account.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with a career plan or promotions. But how you feel at work has everything to do with your thoughts about it and nothing to do with the facts.

You think a promotion will magically make all your annoying coworkers and frustrating projects disaster, but they are all still there waiting for you after the promotion.

All feelings come from your thoughts. If our feelings came from the facts, everyone would have the same feelings.

Go for the promotion, but take ownership of your feelings. It’s the most empowering thing you can do for your career.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com

What do you believe about your job

What do you believe about your job? I use to believe all sorts of crazy things like:

• People make the biggest deal out of the tiniest issues. 
• We don’t save lives; we ship crap to people quickly. 
• I’m a really good manager. 
• Some people are just not cut out for our company. 
• The culture here is brutal. 
• The promotion process is so screwed up. 
• Who you manager is will make or break your happiness. 
• I’m the wrong gender to be successful on this team. 
• There’s no way in hell we are going to reach those goals. 
• This company does not care about people. They only care about getting what they need out of you.

And the list could go on, but a belief is a thought we keep thinking over time. Often times they feel like facts because we have so much evidence for them. I could get a lot of other people to agree with some of my beliefs about work and I know there’s some juicy HR files somewhere that would back me up.

But a belief is just a thought. They are easy to think and we find evidence for them constantly, but they are thoughts and thoughts are optional. So if a belief is optional, why do we choose to believe so many things that don’t service us?

I think the first hurdle is being aware of what our beliefs are and recognizing that they are in fact thoughts and not facts. Once we can really come to terms with that, we can chose to think whatever we want out our jobs. Some people say this is delusional, but it’s no more delusional than what you believe right now.

As human’s we have the ability to be conscious of our thoughts and this is a superpower if you use it. Start by writing down what you currently believe and then start practicing different thoughts you also believe, but that service you better. Practice is key because a belief is thought over time, so keep practicing.

Here are a few thoughts I’m practicing. Feel free to steal any of them and leave a comment with your suggestions.

 

• There’s plenty of time
• Love is always an option
• Everything happens FOR me
• I’m only responsible for how I think and feel
• It’s none of my business what other people think of me
• People are allowed to behave the way they want. I’m allowed to react the way I want. 
• It’s not what we do, it’s who we are. 
• Worry serves no purpose. 
• What you look for, you will find.

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This is always the answer

I’ve had a big project on my to do list for about 2 months. I know it needs to get done and it should help reach out goals, but its around building an email program through another team and it literally has 30 steps for each email and I need to create over 150 emails.

Emails at my company are no small task. They are super manual and take so much longer than they should. It's safe to say I HATE EMAIL projects at work. I always have. I’ve worked really hard to be past the email execution part of my career. I’m all in around the strategy and testing plans, but pushing all the email buttons makes me want to poke my eyes out.

This project landed on my plate because the person who owns email is out on leave. They will come back and I’ll gladly hand it all back to them, but for the next few months, it’s all me.

This project has been looming over my head for 2 months and is seriuosly stressing me about. I know it has to get done, but I don’t want to do it. Then last week in a big team meeting they called me out and asked for a project plan update. I knew it would happen sooner than later, but it just doubled the stress.

I thought a lot about this and asked myself, who do I want to be? How do I want to show up at work? Am I the type of person that has integrity and honesty or do I focus more on looking good and giving people what they want? I knew the answer so when I decided to show up from integrity I simply told the truth.

I send an updated project plan to my manager, but also sent the most honest email of my career. I admitted that I dropped the ball and owned up to it, but also told him why. I admitted to hating email, but knew that I still had to do it.

It felt so amazing to just be honest and own up to it. I’ve been stewing and trying to hid that I’ve not worked on it for weeks. Today I just told the truth and while I still have to do the work I feel so much better. Showing up as your genuine self is always the best way to show up because what other option do you really have.

My manager has not responded yet and it might backfire on me, but I believe honesty is always the right answer.

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Go big and want more

I dare you to make a list of 50 things you want. It sounds easy, but just give it a try.

Usually the first handful of items are easy to come up with, but then you have to tell you brain to keep going and ask it, what else, what else. This is where the good stuff happens.

See, your brain just wants to feel good and be as efficient as possible so it won’t tell you your big dreams unless you purposefully ask it and go big. When you ask yourself, "what else" it gives your brain permission to safely come up with some fun wants.

Then your rational brain kicks back in and tries to tell you that will never happen because you don’t know how or it has never worked in the past, but remember you brain is just trying to protect you and feel good.

Maybe you want to lose 20 pounds, but you keep thinking how it’s never worked in the past and you don’t know how.

Or maybe you want to work for a non-profit and still maintain your lifestyle but you keep thinking that’s impossible because non-profits don’t pay well.

Instead of focusing on the HOW part of your wants, you actually should be focused on the feeling part of your wants. How you feel drives your actions which will determine if you get your wants or not. We all naturally focus on the HOW and let our brains tell us we don’t know or that’s impossible, but when we are willing to feel a negative emotion, there is nothing stopping us from getting what we want.

Say you want to lose 20 pounds because you want to live a longer life to be with your family. If you are willing to feel some discomfort today and not eat junk food when you are stressed or worried, then there’s no reason you can’t lose the weight. The only thing stopping you is a negative feeling.

Or you want to work for a non-profit and keep your lifestyle because you believe in helping others and living the life you want. If you are willing to try new things and possibly fail, there’s no reason you could not make this happen.

Image what you could do if you were willing to fail. Failing just means you have more info on what does not work and are one step closer to finding what does work.

I say, dream big. Push yourself to want things that seem impossible and then be willing to feel any emotion necessary to reach that goal. I’ve got some HUGE wants that feel impossible because I have no clue how to make them happen, but I’m all in for the good and bad and won’t stop until I’ve got what I want. You should too.

Want help applying this to your specific situation? Sign up for free coaching at www.lindsaybuchancoaching.com